I was recently having lunch with my husband at a local restaurant and we were both struck by a young married couple that was sitting at the table next to us. They were both sitting close to each other but were completely absorbed in their cell phones, happily texting away, off in their own individual worlds.
As a marriage and relationship counselor, I try on a daily basis to impress upon couples that the only sure way to keep their relationships happy and healthy is to stay CONNECTED!! And, I mean to each other, not to the insidious cyber world of social media. It doesn't have to be just social media that can isolate you and encroach on precious quality time with your partner. It might be the seemingly educational and stimulating world of news and information. My husband and I recently made a commitment to leave our cell phones in the car when we went out to eat or to the park to relax, because we found ourselves reading news articles or checking email instead of talking together.
Regular quality time and deep conversation with your mate is imperative to create and maintain interest, stimulation and connection in your relationship! One thing that can promote this kind of conversation is to read some articles of interest when you are away from each other, and then, instead of reading more while you are together, have a discussion about the things that interested you. Ask questions and listen with genuine interest in your partner and their what they are passionate about. You can always learn something new about your partner, even if you've been together for years. Staying connected requires being present when you are together. The isolation that is inevitible for electronic media addicts is poisonous this connection!
So, next time you go out with your partner, leave the cell phone or tablet computer behind. It is an alluring and tempting mistress that can be just as damaging to your relationship as an affair!
Until next time,
Keep On Growing!
Tracey D. Bauer
